This is the beginning of my Lake trilogy, set in the same world as The Last Daughter of Wolves, but in a different time. It’s not as dark as the Daughter, it has a somewhat youthful, playful voice. I am sharing only the first two chapters of the story, because I don’t want the readers to get confused, while I’m also sharing the Daughter. With all the rejections I’m receiving for this story, I’m losing confidence. Is it good enough?
The three books of the trilogy are:
The death of the lake
The Heiress of the lake
The Lord of the lake
The unfinished map…
Chapter 1: The son of the dark urges
Tiny waves stirred the surface of the vast lake. The evergreen trees on the Pinewood coast sighed in the wind with the sorrow of a gentle dragon.
Herki stood leaning against a pine tree with his eyes closed. She will come, today is the day, the young man smiled.
A soft summer wind blew in his handsome face, his smile grew warmer; she’ll come for sure, she’ll come with a kiss, as promised.
Slap! His lips were wacked with a wet, slimy object. Herki yelled terrified, while his friend burst out laughing.
“How’s that for a kiss, Herki?! Pucker up, this lovely lady might give you another one!” he waved a smelly fish in front of Herki’s nose.
“Most amusing! Why don’t you go for a swim, Lukean?!” Herki replied with a sinister grin. His friend Luke stopped laughing in an instant. Herki knew very well Luke was the only sixteen-year-old islander who couldn’t swim. He was the laughing stock of the whole town, and Herki was his only friend.
“Why the long face, huh?” Herki said wiping the slime off his own face with the sleeve.
“Not as long as yours was, when you had the fishy kiss! She won’t come, Herks’. Better stop daydreaming,”
“You’re wrong! Today I’ll write a better poem, and then. Then she’ll come,” Herki gazed over the bright blue waters of the lake.
“I’d rather believe I’ll learn how to swim, than your silly poetry gets her to come,”
“You will. And she’ll come. I won’t give up until it happens,” Herki tapped his friend on the shoulder.
The two friends differed like the moon from the sun. Some would say they were bound to be enemies. Both of their fathers despised each other - it was a common feud of the neighbours, an ancient grudge, reasons for which were long time forgotten. Autumnians and Thilians could not be friends, although both sides still traded goods occasionally. By mere chance, Herki had saved Luke from drowning in the Great lake of Autumna many many years ago. Since then, Luke had lost his will to swim, but gained a friendship stronger than any old feud. Herki in him found a brother he never had. He was an only child, an Autumnian, living with his father, Lord Mortenian the ruler of Autumna, a land between the East coast of the lake and the sea. Herki’s father, the wizard of Autumna or the Lord of the Lake was known far and wide for his cruelty. Both he and Herki knew water magic, and their kin were the descendants of Dragonlings, though not many dared to speak of the kin cursed to carry dragons’ flame in their blood.
“Come on, hurry up!” Luke dragged his friend away from the coastline of Thilia island.
“But what if she comes?”
“It’s been almost a year, Herks. You’ve been standing here at noon every damn day. She won’t come,”
Herki hung his head, but swiftly regained his proud Autumnian posture.
“Alright, let’s go! Tomorrow I’ll see her at the feast anyway, and then she’ll have to repay me for every single poem she received,”
Luke laughed at his friend’ s silly plan.
“You think she’ll give you a kiss for every day of the year? You sent her a poem a day. I bet she never even read them,”
“And yet - she did not send them back. Ulise owes me a kiss for a poem, as promised. That makes 365 kisses,”
“You’ re mad, my friend!” Luke shook his head, laughing.
Herki laughed in return, both ran into the pinewood forest, racing who gets to the castle first.
Both sixteen-year-old boys were well-built and quick, but Herki was, undoubtedly, stronger. He reached the castle first, with his coal black hair swaying in Luke’s face. He wore his hair long like an Autumnian High-born should, though the Thilian men always cut their golden hair short.
Luke caught up with him, huffing and puffing.
“I won!” Herki ridiculed him.
“I let you win, Herks!” Luke’s blue eyes burned stubbornly, “but next time, I won’t! Enough running! I’m hungry,”
The two of them entered the castle of Thilia island, where the Lord of Thilia and Luke’s father ruled over the sunny island.
The tall, white castle was overtaken by preparations for the day and the night of the Midsummer’s feast. Every house on the island would be decorated with flowers, every islander - young and old, would dance by the bonfire all night long to greet the dawn. Wine and ale, roasts and pies, all the best foods and drinks were cooked for the feast, and the island smelled like a giant bakery. Tables would be laid right on the streets of the town.
“Father has bought fireworks from overseas. It’ll be grand!” Luke bragged as the two boys entered the courtyard. Servants were running around, frantically trimming the castle for tomorrow’s feast. The friends sneaked into the busy kitchen and snitched a couple of pies, then ran off with the furious cooks yelling at them.
The two entered the castle’s garden. The blooming linden trees spread their sweet-scented branches high above their heads. Thilia island was famous for its wondrous linden trees - blooming richly in cloud-like flowers each summer and shining in golden leaves every autumn. Herki loved the linden trees of Thilia almost as much as he loved the lake of Autumna. Both friends climbed up a tree and had their snack amongst the flowers, looking at the vast blue lake stretching as far as the eye could see. The tall, dark tower of the Wizard’s castle glared from the East, but Herki turned his back on it and looked West.
The wind blew softly in his long, black hair, he inhaled the delicate scent of linden flowers. Herki searched his pocket for a piece of paper and a short pencil. He had the soul of a poet and not a day passed by without him writing down a new verse. The words of love were about to pour from his heart straight onto the paper… And Luke was buzzing near his ear like an annoying insect.
“You’re writing another one? Think she’ll give you an extra kiss for it?” Luke asked, hanging upside down from a branch.
“Don’t lose your lunch,” Herki replied calmly, not even looking at his friend. Luke was still such a child! Pranks and mischief was all he cared about.
“Come on, scribble faster! I’m getting bored!” Luke whined.
“One moment! There, all done,”
“Give it!” Luke snatched the paper from Herki’s hand. The latter didn’t even bother to get it back. Poetry Luke did not write, nor understand its meaning, but he did have a beautiful voice, and sometimes Luke would turn Herki’s poems into songs.
“The gold of bloom, the blue of sky,
The sweetest days can pass me by,
For all life’s pleasures I don’t care,
Come, Water lily, meet me there!”
Luke stood up straight reading, his melodious voice resounded above the tree tops.
“It’s terrible! I might even lose my lunch now!” he exclaimed.
“Thank you kindly! Can you do better, Lukean?!” Herki retorted.
Luke squinted his blue eyes; he hated being called his proper name.
He took his revenge by singing the same poem as loud as he could. The sound echoed across the whole island. Herki tried to punch Luke’s mouth, because the boy wouldn’t stop, oh no! Luke even made up his own verse along the way, “the blue of sky, Herki loves apple pie, Ulise hates him, I don’t know why, Herki’s going to punch me in the eye, oh no, tomorrow I’ll have a black eye!” He kept singing, jumping from branch to branch and avoiding Herki’s large fists.
A loud laughter followed Luke’s howling.
“Oh no! Not those two!” Luke moaned looking down at his elder sisters.
“Kissing in the tree with your Autumnian girlfriend, Lukean?”
“Shut up, Aurora!” Luke yelled at his twenty-year-old sister.
“If it isn’t my favourite old maiden! Received any proposals today? No?” Herki said, jumping down from the tree in front of her. He knew very well Aurora hadn’t been proposed to yet. Although a beauty, it seemed no man dared to approach her. Maybe it had something to do with the girl’s feisty nature. She and Herki were not on friendly terms as long as they’ve known each other.
Aurora flinched at Herki’s sudden apparition, but still she would not leave the insult unanswered.
“Trying to be witty? How hard it must be for a dumb Autumnian!”
She glanced over Herki’s body and her tone slightly changed.
“Although, you might possess other qualities to substitute for your lack of wit,” both girls exchanged glances, giggled, and walked away, leaving the surprised Herki frowning. Luke jumped down near him.
“What did she mean by that?”
Luke waited until his sisters were out of sight.
“Erm… maybe you shouldn’t swim naked around the island anymore, Herks,” he suggested.
“Why? I always swim naked,”
It was true. Autumnian men were accustomed to swimming nude, and felt no shame when doing so.
“I saw Aurora and Ari watching you swim the other day. They were looking at you like that,”
“Like what?!” Herki got annoyed with Luke’s stuttering and blushing.
“Well, like grown-ups do!”
Herki burst out laughing. Luke was indeed such a child! Although it appeared his sisters were all grown-up.
“I hope Aurora was pleased with what she saw! I shall not deprive her from the pleasure of watching me swim naked!”he said, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes.
“You’ re both disgusting! I think I might lose my lunch after all,” Luke rolled his eyes.
“I don’t care what your sisters think about me, Luke. If Aurora doesn’t like the way I swim, she can look elsewhere,”
“I think it’s even worse! They liked it, judging by the way they stared,” Luke pretended to vomit.
“All I care for is Ulise. Come, lets deliver the poem to her!” Herki ran out of the garden and Luke followed.
Nearly a year had passed since Herki gave Ulise the first poem. It was on the Midsummer’s eve, he was standing in the shadows of the pines near the coast, crumpling a piece of paper in his hands.
He had noticed Ulise on the streets of the island town some time ago. All they did was exchange lengthy glances, without ever saying a word. She was unlike any other girl he had ever seen. Her family had moved to Thilia from a smaller island. Her father was a Thilian tradesman and her mother - an Autumnian High-born. Herki knew Autumnian girls - dark-skinned with long, black hair; arrogant and feisty. Herki knew Thilian girls - with hair of gold, pale skin, blue or grey eyes, shy and kind (except Aurora, of course!). Ulise was something else, a rare blend of both Autumnian and Thilian nature. She had long, silky-black hair, pale skin and the brightest blue eyes. She would catch Herki’s eye, stare at him shamelessly like an Autumnian girl, but whenever he tried to approach, she shied away like a virtuous Thilian maiden.
A year ago, on Midsummer’s eve, Herki finally got his chance. They were dancing at the feast by the bonfire in a competition of circles - whoever dances the longest, wins. Ulise was in the same circle as Herki and Luke. The crowd cheered and clapped. One by one the exhausted contestants dropped out, narrowing the circles, until the three of them were the last ones dancing. No way would Herki give up - he held Ulise’s hand, their skin burned hot like fire, if only it wasn’t for Luke dancing between them!
“Drop out!” Herki gasped in his ear.
“What? Oh, right! I’m out,” Luke let go and stepped back breathing rapidly. The crowd whistled and mocked him; he was the only pure Thilian left competing. The music got faster. Herki grabbed the girl’s waist and swirled in the dance. It was against the rules, they were only supposed to hold hands, but nobody dared to object; their eyes burned, both danced heatedly. Perhaps Ulise stumbled, or maybe she did it on purpose, but suddenly the girl leaned closer to Herki, wrapping her hands around him and pressing her body to his. A rush of fire flowed through Herki’s blood, stunned by the sudden sensation he stopped dancing. The crowd cheered for Ulise. Herki was defeated and he was in love… Luckily there was just enough wit left in his head to whisper “come to the Pinewood coast!” in her ear, before the crowd pulled the girl away to congratulate her.
“I can’t believe you dropped out! You could beat her anytime, Herks,” Luke wondered scratching his head.
“I would love to let her beat me anytime,” he replied as Ulise went away, glancing back at him.
“Come on, I know where we can snitch some good wine!” Luke tried to pull him back to the castle.
“I’m meeting her on the Pinewood coast,”
“Great! Let’s grab the wine, and to the Pinewood coast!” Luke exclaimed.
“I’m going alone,”
“Oh! Oh…” Luke gave a lengthy whistle, “alright then… I’ll meet you later, right?”
“Right!” Herki replied and rushed through the crowd. He had to get there first.
Herki stood leaning his sweaty back against a pine tree, his heart thumping in his ears. Pinewood coast was a remote shore. The islanders rarely went there, because the waters were deep and currents cold and strong near the very shore.
Herki took a deep breath to calm his heartbeat down. He listened to the distant sounds of the feast; some boys were singing a rude song rowing their boats near the Pinewood coast. The sunset was blazing just above the horizon and the mist crept from the lake. Ulise appeared near Herki with her footsteps as light and soft as the mist. She stopped just inches from Herki and looked into his eyes curiously.
“You’re the first Autumnian boy I’ve met. They say you’re the son of the Autumnian wizard. All my friends think you’re dangerous,”
“Do you think I’m dangerous?” he asked nervously.
“No,” Ulise smiled, “not with those eyes of yours. They’re warm like the sun shining on a pine tree. Sometimes they burn like pinewood on fire. I’ve been watching you for a long time,”
All the beautiful words Herki had thought of saying to her seemed to have slipped his mind. He felt the piece of paper in his sweaty palm. The poem!
“I wrote a poem for you,”
Ulise reached to take it, but Herki pulled his hand back and pressed the paper to his chest.
“I would like to have something in return,”
“What?”
“A kiss,”
Ulise squinted her eyes trying to read the words scribbled on the paper.
“Water lily? Is it a poem about flowers?”
“It’s about you, because to me no flower is more beautiful than a water lily,” Herki explained.
The boys in the lake were still making a noise, singing their obnoxious song, but Herki didn’t care. Ulise was smiling. Both leaned closer to each other, their lips nearly touched.Herki had dreamed about this moment hundreds of times… A terrifying scream resounded across the lake. It was Luke! Luke in the water! Herki pressed the poem into Ulise’s hand and said,
“Meet me here tomorrow at noon! Meet me with the kiss!”
“I’ll come with the kiss! I promise!”
Herki ran to the shore as fast as he could, he dived and made the lake carry him to Luke, struggling and screaming in the water, while the other boys stood around him in their boats, pointing and laughing.
“It’s alright! It’s me, Luke!” Herki held him on the surface.
“Lucky your Autumnian girlfriend came to the rescue!” The boys mocked them, obviously drunk. Herki directed the water to splash over their heads, soaking the boys from heads to toes.
“For your drunk heads! Hope you’ll have a good hangover tomorrow!”
Herki made the lake carry them to the shore. Even with his feet standing firmly on the sand, Luke kept shaking and crying like a madman. Herki cupped his face, looking into Luke’s eyes and said sternly,
“Look at me! Look at me, Luke! I will always save you, no matter what, my brother!”
“No matter what,” Luke repeated as he calmed down.
“Stupid drunks!” Luke cursed, “did I mess up your date?”
Both looked around the coast; there was no sign of Ulise.
“No harm done. She’ll come tomorrow. And I’ll write a new poem for her,”
She did not come. Not tomorrow, nor the day after. Day by day passed, Herki wrote a new poem each day, inviting her to come. The boys handed the poems to the maids of Ulise’s house, and they were more than happy to oblige the handsome young men. They provided the maids with another love letter to gossip about. Ulise rarely left the house, always accompanied by her father. She never looked at Herki, keeping her sight lowered, like a decent Thilian maiden should.
After a whole year Herki yet again handed the paper to the young maid, she gave him a sly smile as usual. Both boys stared at the closed curtains of Ulise’s house, then ran to the Thilia castle for a proper lunch.
The Lord of Thilia sat by the richly laid table with his lovely family surrounding him. Herki was always welcome at their table. Although he was feared and distrusted around the island. Thilians despised Autumnains for their vile and harsh nature. The Wizard’s kin were believed to be the worst of them all. Ever since Herki saved Luke on that dark and stormy day, he was allowed to spend as much time on the island as he wished, and he didn’t hesitate to spend most of his days on the island, since his own home wasn’t a happy place at all.
“Tell me, Herki, what has old Morten been up to lately? Still daydreaming his life away?” Luke’s father, Lord Hadrian asked with a smirk.
“You’re far too kind, sir, by calling it dreaming. I’d say he’s drinking his life away, along with smoking Snakegrass, and… doing things too obnoxious to be mentioned at your table,” Herki replied. Both Luke’s sisters giggled. Lord Hadrian laughed.
“Not beating around the bush, are you Herki?! I’m glad you’ve turned out to be different from your father,”
“I have you and your family to thank for it,”
“A complement from a poet is a true treasure. I know you don’t give them lightly, my boy,” Lord Hadrian indeed treated Herki like a second son.
After lunch Herki went to lake for a swim, away from all the frantic preparations for tomorrow’s feast.
“Go away, Aurora!” Luke yelled, looking over his shoulder. Both sisters were following them.
“I’m going to the Pinewood coast. Is it forbidden?” Aurora asked grinning shamelessly. Her sister, on the other hand, eighteen-year-old Ari was too shy to lift her eyes at Herki.
“Tell me, Autumnian, is it true what they say about life in your father’s castle?” Aurora glanced over his body.
“It’s beyond anything you could ever imagine,” Herki smiled blatantly, just to make Aurora blush. He couldn’t stand her arrogance! Yes, she was undoubtedly beautiful, but her nature was unkind. The little Ari, as family called her, was completely the opposite - not as half as stunning as Aurora, but undoubtedly of a more pleasant character.
“Come, Aurora, let’s go!” she pulled her sister away.
“No! We’re going to Pinewood coast. I want to see the Autumnian swim. Or is he shy of his Autumnian ways?”
Luke gasped at his sister’s audacity.
Even Herki couldn’t find an appropriate insult to throw in her face.
“By all means! Come and look! I don’t care, Aurora!” Herki stepped closer, looking in her eyes. Even being four years younger, he was taller than Aurora. Autumnians matured much earlier than Thilians. His masculine body only inches from hers. Herki smirked at her bewilderment and went away.
“Why must you tease her?” Luke scolded him quietly.
“Me?! Aurora started it! She was asking for it!”
Ari tried to pull Aurora back to the castle.
“Who does he think he is?! That…” Aurora screamed, “… that! I can’t stand it, Ari! He will be mine!”
“I thought you hated him!” Ari exclaimed confused.
“I want him, Ari! You saw him swim. None of our boys can compare. He’s a real man. And if I want something, I’ll get it.He’ll marry me, I’ll do whatever it takes, to make him,”
Ari turned red as a tomato.
“I don’t understand,”
“Oh, little Ari! You’re such a pure soul! How could you possibly understand?!” Aurora rolled her eyes and still went to the coast. Ari lingered, then hung her head following Aurora.
“Please, don’t swim naked in front of them! Don’t disgrace my sisters!” Luke begged, looking over his shoulder.
“They’re the ones following us!” Herki objected, then sighed, “alright! But only because you asked,”
He made the lake carry the boat to them. Both boys got into it and Herki commanded the water to move the boat onward as fast as it could. He exulted with his hair swaying in the wind, while Luke’s sisters moaned standing behind the pines disappointed.
There, in the middle of the dark blue lake he could finally undress and dive deeply.
“Think she’ll come tomorrow?” Herki wondered lying on the calm surface of the lake and watching the clouds.
“Who? Aurora?”
“No! Ulise, of course,”
“Don’t know. Everybody comes to the feast. It’s Midsummer,” Luke shrugged, lying in the boat and observing the same clouds.
The boys spent the whole afternoon on the Great Autumna lake. Then came back for dinner in Thilia castle, with Aurora all the while giving Herki dirty looks, but he kept ignoring her. Inevitably, as every evening, Herki swam back to his father’s castle. It was the worst time of his day - evening, when he had to go home.
Herki despised the Midsummer’s feast in Autumna just as much as he loved the feast in Thilia. His father’s castle was notoriously famous for its luxurious celebration, which inevitably turned into an uncontrollable revelry with each and every possible exorbitance; over-eating, over-drinking, numbing their senses with Snakegrass. The court and the guests would indulge themselves in a raging whirlwind of carnal pleasures. In his young age Herki had seen things he wished to erase from his memory. Even on casual days he could not stand life in his father’s court, with Lord Morten’s never-ending need for attention; the court had to follow him around all day long, and obey his every command. He was the Wizard of Autumna, feared by his own court and his subjects.
He discovered a new use for his power over water - human blood consisted of water, and Lord Morten could make the blood of his enemy flow backward. A terrible death it was, Herki had witnessed it. His own mother died of it. The only reason the boy had been left alive was because he possessed the same power, besides he was Lord Morten’s only son. A bastard from a mistress, but the Lord didn’t have other children. They say - the Foreverold had cursed Morten’s kin, so they could barely produce an heir. Morten hated “Herki the bastard” as he mocked the boy, but his three lawful wives had died without giving him a child.
“Wasted your time with that Thilian scum again, Herkian?” an idle voice resounded through the entrance hall of the castle behind Herki’s back.
“Up early today, father?” Herki didn’t even bother to look back. Lord Mortenian usually woke up late, after spending his nights indulging himself with all the pleasures silver could buy. Herki knew very well; his father would be wearing a richly embroidered silk robe, loosely tied around his naked body. The man didn’t even bother to look decent in front of his own court. They stood around him - shadow-like beautiful shells of once-people, rotting souls under the whim of their Lord. Herki grew up with these flawless Autumnian faces around him, father chose only the handsomest High-born young men and women for his court. At first their eyes would shine wandering around the magnificent castle, anticipating all the pleasures offered to them, but after a year or two Herki saw – all the beautiful eyes had the same numb expression in them; their souls were dead. Herki shall not become one of them!
“You think you’re better than me, Herki the bastard?” Lord Morten asked silkily.
The latter swiftly turned toward him.
“No, I don’t think I’m better! I am!” Herki retorted, looking at the perverted mirror-image of himself. Despite all his efforts, Lord Morten was growing old, while Herki looked exactly like his younger self, becoming more handsome day by day. Herki knew what would follow; his father’s fist flew toward his face. Herki stopped it, grabbing Morten’s hand in mid-air. He was not a helpless child anymore.
“There! There it is - the fire of our kin. It’s just a matter of time and you’ll give into it. Otherwise the fire shall eat you alive. Embrace the Dragonling’s flame within you, Autumnian wizard! Join the court and forget the feeble Thilians! You’re the son of dark urges, no sunlight can save you,” Lord Morten spoke smiling, with a flickering flame in his black eyes.
“Never! I will never be like you! The lake shall save me! That’s why the Foreverold gave us the power over water, to drown the wretched flame,”
“Stupid little bastard boy! The Foreverold…” father’s laughter echoed through the hallow void of the castle, “no one and nothing can save us from ourselves. So, we might as well take pleasure in our pointless existence. Stop fighting, Herkian!”
Herki turned his back on the court and paced away.
“Soon! Soon you’ll come to me begging to find a relief from the Dragonling’s flame waking within you - and I’ll provide. Look! We have all the relief you need,” Lord gestured at the beautiful features of his youthful court.
“I’ve seen enough!” Herki grunted through his teeth and went to his chamber. The castle was enormous, luckily his chamber was far away from his father’s. Herki laid down in the giant bed, thinking of Ulise. Will she come to the Midsummer’s feast tomorrow? Oh, how he yearned for her!
The next day rose bright and lovely, Herki was up early - the best way to avoid his father or his minions. He rode to the lake, dropped his clothes on the shore and dived - home at last! Now to his second home, - Thilia island shone in gold, white and green.
Luke greeted him, yawning as usual. He feared the lake just as much as Herki loved lake Autumna. Luke sailed his little boat back to the shore of Thilia island, while Herki swam around and around.
Luke hurriedly handed his friend some clothes; Herki kept them in Luke’s boat. Both ran into the festive streets of the island. The celebration began in the morning, through the whole day, and ended only at the next day’s dawn. Excitement buzzed in the air, both friends ran skipping; it’ll be a beautiful day and a cheerful night! Herki kept searching Ulise’s face in the crowd as the friends roamed through the streets to the castle. No sign of her. No matter! She’ll come later, for sure.A whole pack of giggling girls greeted the two friendsentering the courtyard. Aurora, Ari and their friends stepped aside, staring at them. Herki heard whispers, but he didn’t pay much attention to them - Ulise was the only girl on his mind.
“Is it true, what they say about Autumnian men?” the girls whispered.
“What do they say?”
“They say an Autumnian lover can drive a girl out of her mind with the pleasure he gives her,” said Aurora, shamelessly staring at Herki’s backside, as he passed.
“Aurora, hush!” Ari gasped. The other girls laughed loudly.
“I wish we could celebrate the Midsummer in Autumna! I’ve heard - anything goes in the Wizard’s castle!” One of the girls whispered.
“Who needs to go there? Autumna has come to us,” said Aurora.
Both boys circled the courtyard and the garden, but Ulise or her family were nowhere to be seen. They ran around all day long, until the dark took away the daylight with a fiery sunset above the lake. The bonfires were lit, young Thilians danced around them in circles. But not Ulise. Herki’s heart ached for her, his hands shook nervously. He had to meet her tonight!
“I swear, Luke! If I don’t see her tonight, I’ll break into her house! I can’t stand it any longer!”
“Calm down, Herks! I’ve never seen you like this,” Luke looked around, searching for something fun to distract his friend.
“Look, it’s nearly time for fireworks! Let’s climb up the tower for a better view!”
He ran through the crowd into the castle. Herki followed, but they got separated, as the crowds of people were going out to see the fireworks. Somebody grabbed Herki by the hand and pulled him aside.
“What is it Ari?” Herki smiled, surprised by the one holding his hand.
“I know what you’re looking for. I’ll help! Come!” she pulled him into a dark hallway, and up the stairs. All the girls on the island knew each other; maybe Ulise had arranged Ari to call him? Of course! Excited, Herki picked up the pace.
“I knew she’d come. Thank you, Ari!” he whispered, but Ari did not answer. They entered a darkened chamber, Herki rushed inside just to find it empty. The door slammed shut behind him, somebody turned the key locking it.
“Where is she, Ari? What are you doing?” Herki frowned. With a determined look in her grey eyes, Ari went to the nearest window and through the key out.
“What…?” Herki went silent at the sight of Ari undressing herself.
“Aurora thinks she’ll have you just like that. She always takes what’s mine. But not this time!”
Her naked skin shone pale in the dark. The fireworks illuminated Ari’s features in fiery hues.
“Tell me, is it true? They say Autumnian men can drive their lovers mad with pleasure. They say the Wizard’s kin have passion hotter than flames inside of them,” Ari spoke quietly, approaching Herki. He stepped back, but could not take his eyes off the girl. His heart pounded madly.
“Ari, don’t! Please…”
“Herki! Herks, where are you?!” Luke’s voice echoed in the hallway.
“I’m here!” Herki yelled back, but there was no strength in his voice. A strange weakness rose inside him - a river of flames began to flow through his veins, and he could not resist the burning urge. Ari pressed her finger on his lips, as Herki tried to call Luke again.
“There! There it is! The flame!” She said looking into his eyes. Never before had Herki felt so powerless, yet full of strength which he could not control. He grabbed the girl, squeezing her tight. They kissed savagely and fell to the floor with Herki frantically undressing himself. He was burning, and he had to make her burn, until there would be nothing left; a scourging flame devouring everything in its way, just to reach the highest point of pleasure, no matter what’s the cost.
Suddenly the door slammed open, Luke rammed it with his strong shoulder, sensing something was wrong. He ran up, dragged Herki from his sister, punching his friend’s face again and again.
“Get away from her, you, Autumnian scum!” Luke yelled.
“Luke, you spoiled everything!” Ari screamed. She picked up her clothes and ran out of the room sobbing.
“Did she ask for it, huh? Did she?! You scum!” Luke punched him, until Herki was lying with a bloody face, barely conscious. Finally, Luke sat by him on the floor, grabbing his own head and trying to catch his breath. He looked at Herki,staring at the ceiling. Tears flowed from his eyes. His nose and lips were bleeding.
“Did she do it? Ari called you in here?”
Herki nodded slowly. Luke helped him sit up.
“The little fool! I heard them talking dirty, whispering. I never thought they would do something,”
“He was right,” Herki said staring blankly into the dark.
“Who?”
“My father was right all along. I am just like him,”
“No, no Herks! Nothing happened. It wasn’t your fault. The Dragonling’s curse did it. It’s all Ari’s fault. She won’t say a word, I know her. You don’t have to be like your father,”
“You’re right! I don’t. And I won’t,”
Luke frowned looking into Herki’s eyes.
“No, Herks! Don’t! You love Ulise, not my stupid sister,”
“It doesn’t matter! I’ll pay for what I’ve done,”
“You’ve done nothing!”
“I would have, if you hadn’t come!”
“No, you wouldn’t! Don’t go to my father! Calm down! Maybe… maybe go to the lake for a swim. It’ll clear your head,” Luke suggested. Herki nodded. Luke helped him up, Herki was still weary from the beating. Both stumbled their way to the lake, with people staring at Herki’s bloody face and torn shirt.
Herki swam deep into the night, but the clear blue water of the lake could not wash him clean, nor could it drown the awakened urge inside of him. It was a fire, indeed, it burned his core. He still felt the insatiable urge to destroy the one lying beneath him. He wouldn’t care whether she’s hurt, he wouldn’t care if she dies, all just to reach his pleasure. Herki screamed his heart out into the night, disgusted and frightened of the monster he’s trapped in.
He entered the castle along with the dusk. Herki’s pathetic, wet footsteps echoed through the entrance hall.
His father’s laughter resounded in the emptiness; he had been waiting in the dark. Herki stopped. Lord Morten approached and looked into his face.
“You see? It’s not that bad. You’ll get used to the Dragonling’s flame,” he said almost sympathetically. Herki hung his head shaking and crying. Father embraced him.
“There, there! Did she not survive? No need to feel sorry for a Thilian slut. Only Autumnian women can survive our flame,”
“Get away from me! I despise you!” Herki yelled like a madman, ripping himself from his father’s embrace. He ran to his chamber as fast as he could, locked the door, and fell into bed crying loudly.
Herki did not sleep. He got up after lying in bed for a couple of hours, thinking. He had always hoped the curse of his kin wouldn’t reach him. Yet, the Dragonling’s flame had woken within him, as it did with every man of his ancestry, when coming of age. Herki thought, he’ll be strong enough to overcome the burning urge…
He cleaned himself up as best as he could. The young man staring at him from the mirror was wearing black and grey. His facial features, though beaten, looked youthful and handsome, but in his eyes the youth had died. He turned away disgusted. The castle was dead silent, father obviously had gone back to Midsummer’s revelry to celebrate his son’s falling into the dark. Herki went to the lake, but he did not swim, though his skin longed for the touch of the cool waters. He took one of the castle’s boats - a blackwood one inlaid with shining silver ornaments. Herki made the water carry the boat to the middle of the lake. It stopped by a patch of water lilies. He plucked the juicy stems with the delicate, white blossoms on them. Tears clouded up Herki’s eyes, he gritted his teeth and kept picking the flowers. Afterward his boat sailed to Thilia island. With his steps stern and determined, the young Autumnian marched through the quiet island, still slumbering after cheerfully dancing in the firelight until the dawn. He reached Thilia castle and requested the servants to inform their Lord of his coming. Herki waited for Lord Hadrian in the festive hall. The servants had barely finished cleaning up after the feast.
“What brings you here so early, my dear boy? Thought you’d be sleeping like a baby after all the merry dancing and…” Lord Hadrian noticed bruises on Herki’s face. His nose and lips were swollen. The Lord’s kind face frowned.
“Has Morten gone back to his old tricks? Remember what I told you? Stand up for yourself! You’re already a better man than he’ll ever be,”
Herki flinched after hearing his words.
“What is it Herki? Are those for me?” Lord Hadrian smiled at the giant bouquet in Herki’s hands.
“Hear me out, sir! Please!”
“Go on, boy! My word, you look bewildered,”
“I brought water lilies for my future bride. It’s an old Autumnian custom. Water lilies for the bride,” Herki spoke slowly, each word cutting into the soft silence like a blunt blade.
“I’ve come to ask for your daughter’s hand,”
“Oh, finally!” Lord Hadrian exclaimed, “if anybody could tame Aurora, it would be you. Though she is older…”
“It’s not Aurora. I’m asking for Ari’s hand,”
“Ari’s?” The surprised Lord frowned, yet he did not ask Herki anything. Instead he commanded the servants to summon his whole family.
Luke rushed into the hall, he opened his mouth, obviously wanting to talk his friend out of the foul engagement, but Herki slightly shook his head only for Luke to see. His mother and sisters entered the hall. Herki took one look at Ari and he felt the same fiery rush flow through his blood. He turned his sight away from her. Ari stared at him surprised.
“Well, it appears Herki shall become a son to me after all.Ariadne, my dearest daughter, our young Autumnian friend has made you an offer of marriage,”
Aurora held back an angry shriek. Ari stood shocked, blinking stupidly.
“What do say, Ari?! Did he catch you off guard?” Lord Hadrian smiled at the two, who could barely look at each other.
“You two are truly masters in hiding your affections. I didn’t see it coming. What will it be?! Shall you accept Herki’s offer?”
Ari smiled excitedly, she could not believe her luck!
“Yes! Yes, of course I will!” she exclaimed. Silently Herki gave her the flowers. He did not smile.
Lord Hadrian joined their hands. Besides the burning flame of lust, Herki felt nothing toward her, he didn’t even wish to look at the girl smiling sweetly at him. Once again Herki gritted his teeth, bracing himself.
“Loosen up, dear boy! We’re all family here. I do understand you want us to comprehend the gravity of your intentions and it does you credit, but you’re allowed to smile now!” Lord Hadrian patted him on the back. Herki forced a smile. The Lord ordered the servants to bring the wine. All raised glasses to congratulate the young couple. Herki drank the glass empty. He didn’t feel the taste of the beverage. The only sensation on his mind was lust, because Ari stood close, clutching his arm tightly. He whole-heartedly hated her; Ari glanced back at her sister victoriously. Herki was a trophy in Ari’s hands, a vehicle to revenge an old sisterly grudge.
“Now, I have no doubt you shall respect my daughter’s virtue, being the honourable young man you are, but I don’t mind you stealing a kiss or two from your lovely bride, when her father isn’t around,” Lord Hadrian winked at them. Both he and his wife laughed. Herki could not laugh, he remembered kissing Ari violently, laying on top of her. The fire exploded through in his heart and rushed through his whole body.
“Excuse me, I must return to Autumna at once,” he bowed hurriedly and marched out of the hall.
“Well, I guess our young Autumnian was indeed overwhelmed by the engagement. A good lad…” Herki heard the Lord say, before leaving the hall.
He ran. Herki ran away, not looking back. Dark clouds gathered above the island and the lake. Herki stopped only when he reached the Pinewood coast. Breathing rapidly, he closed his eyes, leaning on a pine tree. Thunder rumbled above the island. Just as Herki began to regain his breath, something touched his lips softly. Ulise! It was noon and she had come.
She kissed Herki. He opened his eyes and pushed her away. Oh, he would have wanted to pull her close, but the thought of her being near ignited his blood furiously.
“Don’t touch me!” he exclaimed without thinking and stepped back.
“It’s me! Have you forgotten me? I’ve finally come,” she stepped closer, Herki moved back, shaking his head.
“I’ve kept all your poems. You must understand, my father wouldn’t let me leave the house alone. I sneaked out, while he’s sleeping. The noise of the feast kept him awake at night,”
She pulled out a stack of paper, lovingly tied with a red ribbon. Herki noticed - each piece was crumpled and stained, each piece had been read and kissed hundreds of times.
“You’re too late, you’re too late,” he whispered shaking his head.
“I want to return my debt. A kiss for a poem, as promised,” she stepped closer again.
“You’re too late!” A loud cry broke from his lips. Herki barely held back the raging wildfire inside his chest. Before he had grabbed Ulise, the young Autumnian ran toward the lake and dived into its dark depth.
'With all the rejections I'm receiving for this story' - is this the one you're sending to traditional publishers? (I remember something about you sending something to traditional publishers... can't remember which story you meant, though!)
Okay, so bear in mind that I haven't started approaching traditional publishers yet - but I have a degree in Creative Writing, which included (basic) advice on approaching said publishers.
What I was taught is something that apparently doesn't really change in the industry: it's very, very competitive out there, so writers need to get their work as good as they can ON THEIR OWN (apologies for the capital letters; I am not angry. Oh, if I could just use italics in these comments...).
I can see things here that you are capable of sorting out yourself - punctuation edits, mostly.
On a more personal note, I would like clearer boundaries between the different scenes within your chapters.
Now for the best news: you consistently produce enjoyable reads - even for readers who don't usually read stories in your natural style (er, me. Your style is NSFW compared with what I usually read lol). You've got a fleshed-out setting (including the map - I have been working on my own settings for literally years. It's HARD), interesting characters, and an engaging style.
It's tough out there, but you're on the right track. Keep going :)
Once again, I'm hooked. You've got a talent for writing engaging characters with a lot of hidden layers to them. As if my reading list wasn't big enough, now I've got this to look forward to, also!