Okay, this might be too weird even for my own liking… But it has a wonderful intro and a voice-over by
. Give this man a listen, he’s brilliant y’all!Down in south where the word of mouth, rings true like one of them dang telephones, they tell the tale of the prettiest girl in the world with the bluest eyes ever seen. Why, the blue of her irises was so bright, some folks would swear it glows at night. Now, you might think life would be kind to the prettiest girl with her eyes so blue? It’s how they say, the good Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh; her old man was a drunk and her Ma was no better. No name they gave her, no food or water, Lord only knows how the child survived. But she grew and she grew, with her eyes so blue. In her dead Grandma’s overgrown garden she’d stay, morning, night or day. With the flowers she’d play. When, for whatever reason she came walking to town, they called her Mae, cause that’s all she’d say. It all sounded like “mae… mae”. Now, the folks then would feed her, give her some clothes, but she never stayed. The prettiest girl in the world with her eyes so blue would go back to her Grandma’s overgrown garden, where her irises blue shone through the roses and weeds.
Now, time can change the hearts of cruellest men, some for better, some for worse. But this old man of hers was the worst. When he saw her irises blue and her breasts that grew, one night that old bastard crept into her room. A week or so passed before her Ma knew, he never came out! Though she never said nothing out loud. Whatever that child did, it was better without her man around. No one to beat her or pout. More booze for her mouth. Nothing had changed, the girl was the same. But the irises grew ever so blue.
Next time Mae came to town, she found the boys stared at her round curves. They’d turn their heads when she passed, some whistled, some asked - what she’s up to that night? Until Billy Bob came, grabbed her behind and grunted “she’s mine!” Now, the townsfolk they knew young Billy was cruel. No girl could refuse when he called to his room above the Saloon. So, he did take poor Mae there with her irises blue. Nobody knew what she did to the fool, but when the morning came, only Mae walked out of that room. Her irises bluer than blue. Though they were confused, nobody wound shed a tear for young Billy fool. More than one girl would sigh in relief, one bastard less, a virtue thief gone, who cares where he rots?!
The prettiest girl in the world with her irises bluer than blue, only she knew. When Mae came to town, they knew the next morning one villain less would be lurking around. That old wife-beating drunk, the booze smuglin’ skunk, the unfaithful spouse - all gone, not to be found. Without a trace. The irises shone with a blue-burning blaze in the prettiest face. They refused to believe this beauty could do a dark deed. But the men were gone and sheriff was pleased - less work, his town free from villains and crooks. He never bothered to look.
Mae grew ever so fine, a beauty divine, with wild irises blue and hair of golden hue. The boys couldn’t keep their hands off those curves, those irises blue, and before they knew, another one gone. Where? Nobody had a clue.
Until one day that old dirty Joe came to town. All scattered, even the Sheriff wasn’t around. They say, Joe was the meanest man ever to be found, his bloody soul - a hell hound. When he saw Mae, nobody doubted, he’ll get his way.
“Why, ain’t you the prettiest girl I’ve seen, your eyes so blue, your dress so loose. You are mine!” Old Joe grabbed her tight and dragged the poor girl into his room in broad daylight. When he undid his pants to his fright, he saw the blue irises shone brighter than moon does at night. Her skin turning dark in a raven-black hue, where once was soft skin, now black hair grew. The dark beast would growl, with its fangs hanging out, its bloody tongue licking round’ its red mouth. Blue irises shone like before, but the beauty was no more. Old Joe didn’t get to make a sound when the beast jumped and pushed him down, biting into his throat, face, and mouth. The monster was quick, no blood would spill on the ground. When it was done feastin’ nothing was left of old Joe, no flesh or bone, not even a hair, tooth or finger, nothing, the beast licked the floor clean, jumped into bed and slept, safe and sound.
The angel-like beauty Mae went home the next day. They say, her irises shone so blue, it gave them a fright. So, they began to tell tales of the prettiest girl in the world with her eyes blue and bright. But those folks ain’t dumb - they ain’t callin’ her a man-eater for nothin’!
*image generated by Substack.
Dude is a freakin' rockstar. Australian doing an American Southern accent? 🎖
This definitely took an unexpected turn, but in a good way!