Love me, read me, mute me, block me
Muting and blocking doesn’t hurt. Or does it?
*image taken from Canva.
This is not a drill. Shit got real. What I’m about to do may sound strange but hear me out!
It’s no secret I’ve both found and lost friends on Substack. I’ve been opinionated, and maybe insufferable. I’m not hiding my political and ideological stance, quite the opposite, I’ve been quite vocal about my beliefs.
Other than that, I led a normal StackLife, posting, scrolling, reading, commenting, interacting with people I find interesting, and blocking those who annoy me. Everybody does it, right? You don’t like somebody here, even if you don’t interact directly, you just mute or block them, and live happily ever after. Purge that feed, baby! Read only what pleases you, see no evil… until some days ago it hit me, no, I’m lying! It happened earlier but only now I’m starting to realise how much it has affected me, and how much it actually hurts. After I’ve been trying to interact (liked, commented, restacked with a note) with people whose work I love, I got no response of any kind. Repeatedly. Now, I don’t DM people unless I absolutely need to. DM’s are private territory, I respect their privacy (except you, Dave! No, I’m not sorry…😂). So, at first, I shrugged, and lived on, maybe they’re busy. But now it has happened multiple times, and I’m beginning to realise - shit, they’d probably muted me! I see their stuff but they don’t see me. If you need a clear definition of “ghosting” it doesn’t get any more precise than this.
I suspect the reasons - they don’t like my online behaviour, or my political stance, or my little online Fight Club. I can imagine one particular fight was especially disliked by Fiction stack. Obviously, those supporting the woke ideas are more liked by the active Fiction Stackers than conservative voices like mine.
Anyway, I digressed. The Mute function is a weird feature. It’s like, I don’t want to see you or your writing but I want you to see me and my stuff.
Mute and Block functions didn’t bother me until lately. Until I found that I’ve been muted by somebody I really liked on Fiction stack. That hurt. Being ignored by somebody whose work you love is painful. And it made me think. Maybe I’ve muted and blocked somebody who likes my work?! Maybe, unlike me, they don’t care about my ideological preferences, they just want to read my fictional stories. Now that I know how it feels, I don’t want anybody to be hurt by my inability to take their opinion, or behaviour. That’s why I’m doing something strange - I’m un-muting and un-blocking everybody (except that one guy who threatened to kill me, or total psychos, or bots). My Notes’ feed might become very interesting in a couple of days. So be it! Everybody deserves a chance to speak up. Nobody deserves to be ghosted unaware of what they did wrong.
I can’t change the minds of those who have muted/blocked me, and it’s unfair! They don’t even give me a chance to redeem myself, or to show there’s more to me than just the bitchy cussing old gal. At the end of the day, I joined Substack to share my writing, and to read the work of others. If I mute/block them, I’ll never read their work, which might just turn out to be the best thing I’ve ever read. That’s why I will have to learn separating the art from the artist, and I suggest you join me on this experiment.
Haaaaa! I would never mute you. I have to check in all the time because I enjoy folks who cause a ruckus. I enjoy eating popcorn and also can laugh at myself a bunch. I must say, in my mind, you are the bad girl conservative stacker that I enjoy reading, even though I am a huge lib and sip pumpkin spic lattes as much as I can. My parents and athletic coaches taught me at a young age that being able to have and hold conversations we might not enjoy is a skill. Keep up the great work!
p.s. At some point, if you wish, send me some address. I'll send a mug from the pottery for you no strings attached out of the next kiln load. Every writer working hard to cause a ruckus deserves a nice handmade mug.
Let me begin with this clarification: I do not agree with many of your political views, but it does not bother me. I think it is okay not to have the same opinion, regardless of the topic. I do not like the thought, which many lefties developed, to hold the superiority of higher morals. We do not. And I think we all, regardless of our political views, should learn to debate with each other instead of trying to shut up people who do not share identical views. Unfortunately, people on the right have developed the same tendencies, but I do not count you as one of them.