Shimmer and Snot

A romantic fantasy/flash fiction. For Dave.

So, how do I put this? This is what happens when Substack grows beyond Substack. One can encounter beautiful souls in the most unexpected places. I am lucky to have

The Man Behind the Screen

as a friend, and as friends do, sometimes we poke fun at each other. This time our mental ping-pong resulted in a fun challenge. A flash fiction challenge, if you will. So, he challenged me to write a romantic horror/comedy featuring fearies. FEARIES. Yeah… I hate fearies. (I think he knows it!). So, I hope you’re happy, Dave!🩶

Oh, and the cosy YA mistery from my poll The Reader by the Grave is coming next week. I’m sorry, but the story doesn’t feel ready. I could share the first half, but I think it still needs more work.

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“Nina, Nina, where are you, my lovely?!” Fern hovered through the dusky wood, his emerald-clear wings fluttering with excitement. “Nina, my sweet dew drop, where are you hiding?” He sang, his wings humming along Fern’s sonorous fearie voice. The date was set, the usual time and place; the fourth night of the flower moon, the midnight hour. Fern danced in his flight, drunk on the sweet breaths exhaled by the richly blooming flowers, yet none smelled sweeter than his dew drop Nina, oh, the mere memory of her kisses filled his little fearie heart with joy!

The moon plated the forest leaves in silver, fireflies danced to the soft tune of the nighttime wind, all set for a beautiful date, yet no Nina…

A moment longer and Fern’s heart would’ve burst from the bitter sting of longing. Where does she hide, his naughty golden-winged sweetheart?!

Fern danced from flower to flower tortured by sweet impatience, every inch of Nina’s graceful fae body knew the art of teasing all too well.

“Nina, my love?” He moaned morosely.

The moonlight faded, hidden by the cruel, dark hands of the clouds. Cold wind from the North put out the firefly lanterns. Suddenly Fern was left alone in the moss-covered darkness. A moonless night in the woods could frighten the bravest knights, but Fern was only a gentle creature with his silky wings trembling in the wind.

“Here I am, my love,” finally, Nina’s sweet little voice sang from the dark patch of fir trees.

“Oh, finally! You gave me a fright, my dearest dew drop!” Fern’s wings fluttered, as he rushed toward his love. Her tiny slender silhouette shone ghastly underneath the black fir trees.

“Why must you tease me so, my love?” Fern whispered weaving around her in his flight. Oh, she was so cold! His sweet dew drop was always warm and soft as a sunlit rose petal… Fern closed his eyes, impatience had taken over his mind, lovethirst burned his lips.

Their lips nearly touched; Fern could almost taste the sweet nectar of her kiss on his little fearie tongue…

“Fern Thistlethorn!” A tiny, furious voice squealed above their heads.

“Oh… sweet dew drop! If you’re there, who’s this?!” Fern looked up, his Nina shone golden sitting on a fir branch, her perfect little feet dangling above his green hair, touching it.

He turned to the one who neared her lips toward him. Fern avoided just barely. She looked exactly like Nina but there was no golden shine to her wings.

“I cannot believe you thought it was me! She’s hideous!” Nina above them scolded Fern.

“But who…?” He looked at the one in his arms. As the clouds released the silver moon from their suffocating embrace, the pale light revealed her true form; Fern jumped back swiftly, because the tiny graceful fae grew into a crouched clump of darkness.

“Fir, you nasty old witch!” Fern yawped, alas too late! The devious creature of darkness grabbed his tiny body in its stringy root-fingers. Dirty yellow fingernails dug deep into the tender flesh of the fea prince. Poor Fern cried in pain!

“Come closer, my sweet-talking princeling! Let me put my lovely lips onto yours! Let me suck every drop of magic out of you!” The witch hissed. Fern saw her wrinkled tree-bark face nearing him. The lifeless, hollow dark holes of her eyes devouring the remains of his courage.

“No! No! Help! Nina! Oh, Heavens have mercy!” Fern begged. The witch's crooked nose touched his soft cheek.

“Come here, my sweet fea, let me taste you!” Fir’s open mouth reeked of rotting flesh, the brown stumps of her teeth were wiggling with tiny worms, squirming, and touching Fern’s handsome fea lips. The witch’s tongue slithered out her mouth like a slimy venomous snake.

“Heeeeeelp Niinaaaa!” Fern bellowed struggling to escape the witch’s grip.

“Fine! Not that you deserve my mercy!” Nina rolled her eyes. Her golden wings shimmered as the Fae ascended. She blew a whole cloud of golden fairy dust into the witch’s face.

“Aaaah, my eyes! It burns! It burns!” The witch yelled, she loosened her grip, sneezing a handful of snot onto poor Fern. He sprung from her hand and upward to his beloved.

“Oh, how it burns! Damn you, Fearies! Cursed you be! I’ll have to spend the whole night washing my eyes with toad piss to get rid of this shimmering! Aaaarrggh!” The witch limped into the dark wood cursing all the way.

“Serves you right, old hag, not to mess with a taken man!” Nina’s voice rang like a silver bell.

“As for you…” her golden-haired head turned toward Fern.

“Oh, my sweetest dew drop!” Fern reached to embrace her.

“Do not touch me, you snotty traitor!”

“But…”

“How on earth could you not recognise it wasn’t me?!” She squealed at him.

“Oh, the desire to taste your sweetness had blinded me! That dirty witch used the black magic of the moonless sky!” Fern sat on the fir branch and cried snotty little tears, glittering with his emerald-green fairy dust. The witch’s slimy goo made his lovely wings heavy. Nina hovered around him, teasing the poor fool.

“Next time don’t be so hasty, sir! You know these moonless minutes are dangerous!” She warned him, nearing Fern’s face.

“Next time?” He asked hopefully.

Nina blew another cloud of her golden fairy dust straight into his bewildered face.  She laughed, while Fern sneezed, then Nina flew up above the tree tops shining like a golden star.

*my sketch of the faeries Nina and Fern.